Jamaica in two weeks! that's all that's new.
In the video: stephanies id.
Today bailey (the dog) broke her nail somehow. She seemed really hurt, and went she's hurt I feel bad and get stressed and worry about her. Not even a year ago I had bailey and a golden retriever named emma who I had for four years, since she was born. Emma got ahold of some of my cousins medicane and died a week later...then we get another dog and two months later he died of parvo.... So needless to say it scares me when anything happens to bailey. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Now that I've made this post more depressing than needed.. I'm done.
Went to carowinds theme park with a friend yesterday. I love roller coasters... Woo.
Then we tried to find a nearby mall..well it was supposed to be 'nearby' but it took an hour. By the mall we went to this crazy cajun place where they had fried gator, people say it tastes like chicken, ill take their word for it. At the mall we ended up being so tired that we lapped the mall once and left, but there was this amazing store called earthbound.. The had hermit crabs with painted shells and african tribal masks.
Its stormy here. It has been all day. It rains, then the sun comes out then it clouds up and rains again. Now there's lightning. You know when were kids and people ask you want you want when you grow up.. Does anyone actually know that answer? I'm 19 and I still don't know what I want to do. I went to school for a while for digital media but I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted. I worked fulltime at a daycare for a bit and still wasn't sure if that's what I want to do. I want to go back to college but I don't want to waste time and money when I don't even know what I want to do. I was thinking about going to community college for two years and finish my basic courses, then when I'm done I can transfer and hopefully by then I will know what I want to do. I feel so anxious though, just sitting around waiting for the next semester to start. I'm afraid I will have waited too long and I won't remember anything from high school.
Life has an adult is hard. With age comes freedom, but with freedom comes responsibility. I don't know what to do... I never seem to know what to do.
Boredom prevails. I can't wait to start my job. That sounds odd but I'm in desperate need of cash flow. I should start in about a week.
subject change:
next spring my uncle is going on a cross country trip to california on his bicycle and asked if I wanted to go. It sounds way exciting and i'd love the opportunity but the only thing holding me back is bailey. It sounds so stupid that the only thing holding me back is a dog, but you just have to know me. Through everything i've been through I've always had her and I don't know how she would do with me gone for atleast three months.
(Putting it in writing makes it sound even more stupid....)
On the other hand, going on this trip would be amazing, the things I would see, being able to tell my future children that I biked across the country to california! I'm really thinking about it.
Ah. I'd have to be in pretty awesome shape, so if I am going to go I would have to start training... Now. better go buy a bicycle. Lol, you know, just in case I do decide to go.
Didn't go camping but it was a beautiful day yesterday... Good thing because its been rainy all day today. Now that my weather report is over...
It seems as though no matter how "certain" something is, it doesn't feel like it will happen and I kind of just float along not knowing until it does happen. Example: I'm going on a trip to jamaica soon but I haven't even gotten my passport and I still need a lot of money for the trip. So until everything gets paid for and I'm on that plane heading to jamaica, I'm not gonna get to excited. Does this mean I've been let down a lot and things don't ever seem to work the way their supposed to.. Sometimes. But I just have to trust in God and know he has the right plan for me. I need to learn more trust.
terribly sorry if none if this made sense, I'm just writing as I'm thinking.
Peace, love, SARA
I love summer. I love being outside: the way the sun feels, the fresh air smells, the way everything is alive and green. The birds song is this symbolic harmony telling u that everything is going to be alright. That's what I hear anyway. I need to go camping.
Peace, love, SARA
This past year has changed so much, not just because I don't have school but so much more.. Myself included in the change. I don't know that person I was anymore. Now all I need to do is figure out who this new person is. To be or not to be, I guess.
Peace, love, SARA
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